Curmudgeon's Corner

Fun With Words...

Posted by Al Campbell on Dec. 2, 2008

Potpourri

Here it goes...

• You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
• Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?  He's all right now.
• The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
• When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
• A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.  He became a hardened criminal.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
• A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
• A bicycle can't stand alone.  It is two tired.
• A will is a dead giveaway.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
• You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
• A lot of money is tainted; 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
• When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
• When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture; a jab well done.