Paul Adair is a 21-year Germantown resident, retired scientist, writer, and lecturer.
It is not clear what the House Republican Caucus wants to gain from their blatant attempts at extortion. With no one really in control, Congressional Republicans have floated a multitude of demands in exchange for their votes to re-open the government that they closed and to keep the country from defaulting on the debts that they incurred.
First they wanted to defund Obamacare. Then they wanted to delay it for a year. Then they wanted to delay the individual mandate. They wanted to allow a woman's employer to deny contraceptive coverage on her insurance. In late September, the House Republicans listed even more extortion demands, include defunding the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, gutting EPA rules on coal ash and carbon dioxide, overhauling the tax code, means testing Medicare, and building the Keystone pipeline.
And that is not the end of the demands. Paul Ryan (R-WI) wrote an editorial stating that they should take advantage of this opportunity to tinker with Medicare and Medicaid. Fellow Congressman Reid Ribble (WI) authored a letter to John Boehner, signed by 51 House Republicans, stating that they should use the crisis as an excuse to overhaul Social Security.
Despite the lengthy list of publicized demands, there are even more that are waiting to be unveiled. I recently came into possession of a new set of 21 secret Republican demands. I can't vouch for their validity, as my source is anonymous and will remain so. Nonetheless, here is the unedited list, just as I received it last night in an unmarked envelope:
Invalidate the 2012 Presidential election. Obama must resign, allowing Mitt Romney to become President.
Count each vote cast within the boundaries of the 50 most populous American cities as 3/5 of each vote from the Real America.
Replace the Senate with a House of Lords. Appoint David and Charles Koch, Sheldon Adelson, Newt Gingrich, and anyone surnamed Walton as charter members.
Replace Medicare with discount coupons. (Oh, we have already tried that one!)
Abolish three Government agencies- The Department of Education, the EPA,......sorry, we forgot the third one! Ooops!
Name all US elementary schools after Ronald Reagan.
Impose a fine on any Congressman who utters the words “immigration reform”, “gun safety”, or “jobs” in the Capitol.
Declare war on Iran, unless President Obama is for it, in which case, absolutely don't declare war on Iran.
Do a recount in the 2012 Massachusetts and Wisconsin Senate races, overseen by Kathy Nickolaus.
Joe Biden must apologize to Paul Ryan for Joe's shabby treatment of Paul during the VP debates.
Declare that anyone born in Canada is qualified to be President of the US.
Finally admit that, yes, corporations are indeed people.
Rename the Affordable Care Act to “The Socialist Plan to Destroy American Jobs and Kill Women and Children” Act.
Initiate the impeachment trials of Barack Obama. The charges will be determined later, but we will certainly come up with something.
Enact a Constitutional Amendment stating that no Constitutional Amendments can be enacted which overturn Citizen's United.
Instead of just figuratively drowning the government in a bathtub, randomly select 20 federal employees each month to actually drown in a bathtub.
Add a new face to Mount Rushmore-Ronald Reagan's, of course.
Using no-bid sales, divest the country of the librul bastions of California, Massachusetts, Vermont, Minnesota, and Madison, WI.
Establish a new Benghazi hearing each and every month, in perpetuity.
Change the name of the United States of America to the United States of Ronald Reagan.
In order to save money on subsidized school lunches, institute a new "Gruel for School" program.
Acceding to these demands will allow the government to function until December 15, 2013. At that time, a new list will be issued.