cur-mud-geon: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner
Some of the funniest jokes I can recall came from the old comedians who seldom included foul language in their jokes. A good friend sent me a select group of these old jokes and this seemed a good time to publish some of those. My apologies in advance if I offend anyone with this selection:
# I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
# Someone stole all my credit cards but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
# She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
# The doctor gave the man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
# The doctor told his patient he’d live to be 60. The man said, “I am 60." The doctor said, “See! What did I tell you?”
# A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”
# Finally, one classic joke about Jewish mothers:
A man called his mother in Florida, “Mom, how are you?”
“Not too good”, said the mother. “I’ve been very weak.”
The son said, “Why are you so weak?”
She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”
The son said, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”
The mother answered, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.”